OVER 60 SECRETS – Young Men’s Dating Advice!
When in college, I’d often see gorgeous girls dating goofy-looking guys. I couldn’t understand the attraction! What were those girls thinking? Now, I’m older and have found the secrets of how these nerds got the girls. Much to my amazement, it’s just a combination of kindness, integrity and common sense. Would you like to know how to be more popular with girls? Here’s a compendium of young men’s dating advice.
Here’s stuff I wish I had known about a winning behavior with ladies.
Let’s begin with common sense! Treat ladies well. Important: Frankly, guys are visually oriented, but girls are basically interested in the heart. Therefore to please a girl, treat her well. It doesn’t cost anything but gets tremendous results. Being older, I wish someone had taught me these things, so I wouldn’t have embarrassed myself so often.
We’ve asked ladies from early teens through their 30s – what they like and dislike about guys. Seldom taught, their shocking answers are below. Pay attention to them and they’ll have great impact on your dating life. It might not make you a superstar, but girls will be impressed enough to keep you in the ballgame.
Young Men’s Dating Advice – Getting Started: How to Get Girls Interested in You
Someday you will get interested in a girl. You’re question may be “how do I get her interested in me?” The key is to remember girls look at the heart. This may not make any sense to you, but they like gentlemen. So, decide either to be a gentleman and have girls like you, or choose to be a caveman and see the smarter and more mature men get your girl. The choice is yours!
1. Ladies love humble! They are very attracted to great guys who don’t have a high opinion of themselves. They like it when you go out of your way to make them part of your day. (It’s not sissy! Tim Tebow, Curt Warner and Aaron Rodgers are gentleman off the field and fierce competitors on the football field. Isaac Bruce is a hall-of-fame wide receiver, but a true gentleman.)
2. Girls don’t like braggarts. (Arrogance and conceit is the only disease that makes everyone else sick except he who has it!) Don’t be a pretender – trying to make believe you’re rich, suave or extremely intelligent by using big words. You’re fooling nobody! Ladies like guys who are transparent – just open and nice. Don’t try to impress. Instead be impressive!
- 3. Don’t swear. Fowl language is a major turn off. It is embarrassing and shows your lack of intelligence. Come up with better words to express yourself.
4. Don’t be rude (uncaring) to anyone. Spectators feel sorry for people who are disrespected. You look like an idiot. Girls don’t like guys who talk negatively about others, to make themselves look good in comparison. This doesn’t work!
5. Be courteous and nice to every girl, no matter her age. Girls take notice when someone is nice to them. “Chivalry is not dead!” You’ll get a great reputation and many more girls will respect you. Oh yes, a side benefit! In 2 years someone you are not currently interested in today could become the hottest babe in town!
6. Be a gentleman to everyone. It’ll greatly impress her family. Remember, they have direct impact on how available she is to date you. Other girls will notice too!
7. Always open doors for girls, so they can enter first. Make it a habit. It will become natural and smooth! As opportunity presents itself, help a girl on with her coat. It’s a good way to increase her comfort level with you without getting too close. (Why not also help anyone who is struggling with their coat, male or female!) I’ve seen hundreds of young men miss terrific opportunities to cement their standing with ladies because they lack courtesy. In the long run these boys will simply be outmaneuvered by older and wiser men.
Recently, I saw a young man dragging his date inside a shopping mall by the hand in true caveman fashion. He just barely made it through the glass door as it was closing. She didn’t make it, banging her head and side into the door as it was closing. Don’t be a Cave Man!
Some women might say “Don’t open the door for me. I can do it myself!” Your answer can be “I know you can. But, I just want to honor and show you respect.”
8. Protect girls from bugs. The definition of a bug is any small creature that walks, hops, flies or moves. 95% of all girls are afraid of them. They are also afraid of bees. Bees are defined as anything of any size that is perceived to have a stinger, include sweat bees, hornets, wasps and mud daubers. Killing any bug or bee within 15 feet of a girl, makes you a hero and earns you 10 points. Eating the dead bug/bee costs you all your points plus a 20-point penalty.
9. Be a man and let the lady be a lady. Prissy guys are a big turn off, as are guys who dress in girly skin-tight fashions or wear make up to enhance their manly features. Girls like manly men which is why athletes are so popular. You might want to take up weight lifting. It’s good for your conditioning and your physique will be better. Don’t think you have to look like Arnold Swarzenegger. Just get more physically fit.
10. Don’t mumble. Your words are important to them. They want to understand you.
11. Ladies like security. Ladies want to know that a man can protect and take care of them. Security is a basic need for them. So, should you borrow money from a lady? NO. (You probably won’t pay her back anyway.) Security is why ladies prefer guys with jobs, good grades are athletic and talented. Sadly, some girls are gold diggers and just want your money. But smart ones know money is just temporary. They’re aware, good qualities cannot be lost. Remember: Don’t expect your girl to support you. She is not your Mother!
Young Men’s Dating Advice – Using Common Sense
Some things should always remain private. Most of these are related to bodily functions. No one would disagree that going to the bathroom or vomiting are best kept private. Here are some others:
12. Belching and having gas is gross to a lady. For some unknown reason guys think it’s funny. Actually, it’s girl-repelling behavior. If you must break wind (pass gas) go some place private like a bathroom. Burping is easy to do silently and without opening your mouth. However, belching is opening your mouth to show off your mellow tone. Want to belch? Cross off the names of all classy girls on your list.
Someone I know, used to stop his car, turn the radio up, then go to the back of the car to check “something” and let ‘er rip! Finally, he’d wait ‘til the wind had carried away any odor, before reentering the car. He said, “not once did a girl ever suspect anything.”
13. Don’t spit in a lady’s presence. Even worse is talking about your loogies.
14. Girls say dried snot (boogers) and picking your nose is disgusting! At a well-known restaurant, one of the owners made pizza out in the open, so everyone could see. One night he had something up his nose that was bothering him. After picking it out, he proceeded to continue the pie making! Can you say “Blechhhhhh? When the pizza arrived everyone looked for green specs in the pizza. The restaurant closed a few months later.
15. Cover your mouth when you yawn, cough or sneeze. Nobody (male or female) wants to see what’s in your mouth or get hit with spray from your saliva glands.
16. Guard your breath to keep it fresh. A blond told me she met a gorgeous guy. But his breath was horrible – horrible all the time – an immediate turn-off and disqualifier. One of my best friends had been working for a company for years. But no one told him about his breath. He not only didn’t have any girl friends, but no one could stand to be around him. Because he was my good friend, I told him the truth. He went to the dentist and had to have most of his teeth removed, due to a periodontal disease. His breath returned to normal. If someone had told him earlier, his teeth could have been saved.
a. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. (Advanced Hint: Peroxide on the toothbrush before putting on toothpaste, helps kill bacteria causing bad breath. Don’t forget to brush your tongue as well. Its rough surface stores bacteria and old stinky food.)
b. Keep your teeth free of “plaque.” Consistent brushing and flossing will keep it away. It causes tooth decay increasing bad breath.
c. Have mints or gum handy. (A sweetener like Xylitol is natural and helps prevents cavities. Regular sugar leaves a bad aftertaste and contributes to bad breath the next morning.) Thought: Chewing gum with your mouth closed is less noisy and classier that chewing with your mouth open.
d. Avoid foods that cause bad breath like onions and garlic especially before a date. Even toothpaste and mouthwash cannot adequately cover up these odors. (Pizza, Tacos, Doritos and Hamburgers leave you with wretched breath.)
e. Smoking causes bad breath. In combination with coffee, it is nauseating. (A high school teacher introduced me to this wretched odor which I’ll never forget.)
f. Chewing tobacco is a guarantee no girl will kiss you on the lips. Yuck! This also leads to cancer of the mouth. (Joe Garagiola, a former Major League catcher, got mouth cancer which ended his career as a guest host on NBC’s Today Show.) Also having ½ a tongue will not help you get a girl.
17. Keep these private: Tucking in your shirt, zipping your pants, adjusting your underwear, doing the Michael Jackson or adjusting your package like baseball players, is not gentlemanly.
Young Men’s Dating Advice – Who to Ask for a Date
As guys, we sometimes get mixed signals from girls. Some girls are just very nice people and don’t want to hurt a guy’s fragile ego! But that doesn’t mean they want to go out with you! Guys often make a mistake, thinking kindness means the girl wants to date them. Since guys are often rude to one another, we think a lady who is friendly, wants to go out with us! WRONG. She is just a very nice person. The guy that eventually marries her will be a very fortunate person indeed.
On the other hand some guys believe they are God’s gift to women. Believe it or not, not every girl thinks you’re a “STUD.” Most girls have a nurturing instinct to take care of children, kitty cats, puppy dogs and sad guys. It doesn’t mean they want to date the puppy dog or you! These ladies will find excuses not to date you, so your ego doesn’t get hurt.
18. Who wants to go out with you? It’s scary asking a girl out on a date. It’s difficult to know if she’s really interested. How can you know if she wants to go out with you? The answer is yes – IF;
a. She flirts with you, by tilting her head and looking into your eyes just a little longer than usual;
b. She finds a way to always be around you or “accidentally bump into you” (on purpose);
c. She touches your arm and giggles at things you say that aren’t particularly funny;
d. You catch her looking at you often; or
e. She asks you questions about what you like or dislike or is just interested in everything you say.
19. How can you tell if a girl doesn’t want to date you? You’re attracted to her. She’s friendly. But does she want to go out with you? Below are warning signs she likes you as a friend and not as a boyfriend. Caution: Take the hint and leave her alone or you’ll become her enemy.
a. She always tells you that you’re a really good friend.
b. She tells you about other girls you should date.
c. She avoids you if she feels you are interested in dating her.
d. She talks about other guys.
e. She makes excuses not to go places with you.
Young Men’s Dating Advice – Preparing for a Date
Plan your date to have a memorable experience with an awesome lady. It might be good to do a little research about your date. (What kind of food and/or movies does she like? This can help you avoid what she doesn’t like.) Even if you never date her again, your reputation will be enhanced, because you know how to treat a lady. Hint: You don’t have to spend a lot of money to make a date memorable.
20. Make a specific plan for any date – go to the movies, dance, dinner, etc. Know exactly what you’re going to do such as go to XYZ restaurant. Just don’t ask a girl to go out without a plan! (“Whata you wanna do?” “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” I don’t know. Whata you wanna do?” “I don’t know, whata . . .” ) Just hangin’ around the house repeatedly shows her, you haven’t taken time to concentrate on her. Hey! You could always take a romantic walk in a park.
21. Ask for a date at least 3-7 days before the day you want to take her out. Why? Guys can throw on a new shirt and think they’re over dressed! But girls are much different! Girls say they need “time!” She might need time to get her hair/nails done or buy a new outfit. Did you know some girls can spend an entire day getting ready for a date with you?
22. Clean yourself up before a date.
a. Shower if possible. If unable, freshen up by washing your underarms with anti-bacterial soap like Dial or Safeguard. Don’t forget underarm deodorant!
b. Wash your hands (cleaning under your fingernails) and face (to remove unseen body oils that stink). Trim your nails as well. Long fingernails collect dirt and are turn-offs!
c. Wash your hair regularly. Girls detest greasy hair. It’ll make them cringe! (Long hair or short hair isn’t key. It’s a matter of style and personal preference. Just make certain it’s well groomed and trimmed.) (When I was a kid we used Brylcream, “a little dab‘ll do ya.” It made my hair greasy, so when I put my head against the chalkboard, it left a big greasy stain. No girl likes slimy.)
d. Between hair cuts, the hair on your lower neck gets long and ugly. You can shave it with a regular razor and your haircut will last longer and you’ll appear better groomed.
e. Watch out for dandruff. The little flakes are actually dry skin. Use dandruff shampoo to control it.
f. Again, don’t forget about your breath. Avoid foods that cause bad breath like onions, curry and garlic especially before a date. If both of you eat these foods on a date, you’re mutually protected.
g. Don’t just splash cologne or deodorant on your sweaty body to cover the smell. The odors just combine. Pew!
h. Don’t put tons of cologne on. Just a trace is terrific. If they like the smell, they’ll want to get closer to you. Don’t try to compete with the perfume your date or other girls are wearing.
i. Wash your hands after putting cologne on. When you shake hands with men or women, the smell transfers. Some hate the smell, are allergic to it, or may conflict with their cologne.
23. Clean your ears with Q-Tips at least once a week after you shower. (Some girls say everyday.) Seeing orange ear wax is a huge turn off – Yuck!
24. Wash your feet! There are also many foot odor remedies discussed in “Foot Odor Remedies: No More Stinky Feet” also posted on the EverydayChristianFamily.com website. Toe scum and toe jam are turn-offs when you’re wearing sandals, so are long toenails!
25. Your shoes should look and smell clean (including the bottoms) and shined if possible. Be careful where you step, should you have a dog. You don’t want to bring in any unnecessary presents and odors into your car or your girl’s home. Socks should look and smell clean as well. Never wear a pair of socks for more than 1 day.
26. Your clothes should be presentable – not faded and old, but clean, pressed and free of wrinkles, odors, dog/cat hair, etc. Clothes often look clean, but have been exposed to gasoline, grease, restaurant, coffee and/or B.O. (body) odors. Just this evening in a fancy shopping mall I saw very pretty girl, dressed impeccably with a young man dressed in a terribly wrinkled undershirt. He needs to get a clue.
27. Dress sharp and nice not flashy. Don’t try to look better than your girl. You are not a peacock! Your attention should be on her!
28. Don’t forget to wear a belt. It holds your slacks in place and helps you avoid the dreaded “plumber’s butt” syndrome. It’s a key accessory of all well-dressed gentlemen.
Young Men’s Dating Advice – Planning
My Dad told me once that he took a girl to a movie, followed up with a great meal at a restaurant. Took her dancing and capped it off with dessert. I asked him if he kissed her. He said “No. I already did enough for her.” A humorous story, but seriously, take every opportunity to make this date the best day in a girl’s life. She’ll remember it for years!
29. Going on a date? Drive if you’re old enough. If you don’t have a car, double date with a safe driver who has a car. My most embarrassing date was with a beautiful senior girl who drove me (a sophomore) to Homecoming. How humiliating!
30. Prepare your car as for a Queen. Think of it as trying to impress the most important person in the world. You don’t need a fancy car, just a very clean one. No matter who your date is – she IS that important!
31. It may seem old fashioned but guys should always pay for the date. If you don’t have money, it’s not a bad idea to get a part-time job, mow lawns, ask neighbors if you can help them or find creative ways to lower the cost, i.e. go on a picnic instead of going to a restaurant.
32. Be on time for the date or any meeting. It’s better that you wait for her, than for her to wait for you. She is just putting the finishing touches on her clothes and makeup to please you! Just enjoy that she is there. Plan ahead and arrive just a couple of minutes early.
Young Men’s Dating Advice – On the Date
33. If it’s cold outside, warm up your car for a lady. She’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness. Believe it or not, it’s the little things that make her feel special and make you more attractive.
34. Always open a car door for a girl. If it is rainy or snowy, drop her off at the door of any destination. These are little acts of thoughtfulness she will love.
35. When a girl is cold, give her your coat. It’ll have great impact and make her feel “cared for.”
36. Engage her first in conversation. It’ll put her at ease. It takes away the awkwardness. She’ll carry it from then on. You just need to get the conversation started with questions that she’s interested in or that are about her. Remember, to leave any personal issues at home, including arguments with your parents, old girlfriends, frustrations, etc.
37. Be a GREAT listener! Don’t only talk about yourself and what you’re interested in. Remember, God gave you 2 ears and only 1 mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk! REALLY listen. Be really interested in what she says. It’ll show her you are interested in more than her looks. (What she feels is important – more important than anything else in her life.) Then, you’ll find out whether you’d like to continue dating her.
38. NEVER try to solve her problem. She NEVER, NEVER, never, never, Never wants that. Ladies work out their problems by talking. You say, that’s weird! I understand. She just needs you to listen. (Most men never seem to learn this until they’re 50!) Again, be a GREAT listener!
39. When you’re with a girl, give her your total attention! Keep your eyes on her and her eyes only! No one else should matter at all. (And don’t check out her body, or you’ll seem like a creep.) Don’t be text messaging or talking on your cell phone when you’re with your girl. If a call is urgent, say “please pardon me. I need to take this call.”
40. Take the opportunity to complement the way she looks in her outfit, NEVER the dress or outfit by itself.
41. When putting your arm around her in a movie, don’t hit her in the nose with your elbow. It’ll make her eyes water. (That happened to my wife!)
42. Common courtesy says “don’t touch a girl’s face or hair.” She has spent hours making it look special for you. She WILL get very angry!
43. Don’t go into a girl’s purse. She has things in there that might be embarrassing. STAY OUT!
44. Be careful of a girl’s feet. Your shoes are big and heavy. Hers are made for beauty and to attract you. Let them do their work. When I was first dating my wife, I stepped on her foot and broke her toe. She had a great deal of trouble walking for days.
45. When walking with a girl, walk at her pace. High-heel shoes help girls look beautiful, but they’re not easy to walk in. You’re not in a race, so just walk at her pace and enjoy her beauty.
46. Pay attention to no-go zones! Sexual advances are discourteous and a “turn off”. You may touch her hands, arms, shoulders and back (upper & middle) only. All other places are an invasion of privacy! Recently I saw a 13-yr-old boy walking with a girl in a store. His hand moved down onto her rear. She was noticeably uncomfortable. If the girl’s father had been watching, he would have “punched the kid’s lights out!” This is disrespectful “All I’m askin’ for is a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”
47. No arms or elbows on the table when eating. Don’t guard your food as if protecting it from wild animals. Take one hand and place it on your lap while you’re eating, unless you’re cutting your food. When eating at school, use the same good manners. Remember, someone could always be watching. Good manners will become a habit and will even help you get a job later in life.
48. Eat like a gentleman. Remember, you’re not in a race. How do you eat chicken and french fries? With a knife and fork. Never learned? Start practicing now. It’s difficult, but will readily set you apart from all other guys. TIP: When ordering food, always order her’s first, then choose something that you can eat with a knife and fork. Sandwiches sometimes are too large and messy leaving lots of residue on your face and hands. (Then your hands will smell like the burger.)
49. Don’t talk with your mouth full. First of all, you can’t be understood. Secondly, pieces will fly out of your mouth into your date’s soup. After they submerge, she can’t locate them to remove ‘em. Actually, no one likes to see the mixture of the food and saliva inside your mouth. It’s really gross! Don’t believe the ladies? Fill you mouth with chewed food and look in the mirror with your mouth open.
50. After eating remove the food between your teeth. Go to the restroom armed with a toothpick to make certain your smile doesn’t include a piece of green lettuce or other residue between your front teeth.
51. Before ending the date, try to find her an unexpected souvenir. It might be a small figurine, a pebble she tripped on, or just something (not gross) that made you both laugh. She’ll add it to her collection and remember you!
Young Men’s Dating Advice – After Date Protocol
52. Sending a good morning text message is very thoughtful and starts a girl’s day out on a happy note. “I had a wonderful time last night. Hope your day is special.” Goodnight texting is questionable until you have established a strong relationship with her.
53. Do something unexpected and nice for your date when you get the chance. For some reason ladies like cards and notes that have something short and sweet on them like – “you make me smile.” They’ll keep these cards and look at them for years.
54. Although ladies love flowers and press them in books, try to find something more permanent. It may be inexpensive, but will make her remember you for years. Every time she sees the item, it’ll remind her of you. Here are some suggestions from a lady: a candle; picture frame, journal or a rock you both looked at on the beach. (As a guy, I think this sounds stupid. But girls are experts on what pleases them. If it were just me, I’d just get her something useful like a pipe wrench, duct tape or a baseball.)
Dating Advice for Young Men – Maintaining the Relationship
There are times when combining the ideas, thoughts, goals, preferences and attitudes of two different people can be taxing. You want to watch football and she wants to watch a “chick flick.” If you get your way and watch the football game, you’ll lose! If you get stuck watching the “chick flick,” you’ll win. Guaranteed! Remember, whoever loses an argument actually wins!
55. If she buys you cologne and you hate it – wear it for her. If she suggests you wear a certain cologne. Get it! She’ll want to be near you when you’re together.
56. If she makes food for you and it doesn’t taste good – eat it anyway, smile and tell her how much you appreciate all the work she did for you!!! This will encourage her. She knows it isn’t very good, but will try harder next time.
57. Always be completely honest with your girl. Don’t lie. She also likes it when you express your honest feelings and just say pleasant things like “besides being beautiful, you’re such a nice person!” I’ve heard girls say “Awwwwww.” You just scored 10 points.
58. Don’t tell your a girl how pretty another girl is. It makes her feel like she’s your second choice.
59. Go with only 1 girl at a time. Girls hate “players” and “cheaters,” even though guys think it’s cool. You’re gonna get caught! Count on it! You destroy relationships, lose your credibility with both girls and are never again trusted. (Once I dated a freshman and a junior at a huge University at the same time. Can you believe it? They had a trampoline class together; stood next to each other; talked about their boyfriend . . . and I got in big trouble from both of them! Ouch!!!
60. Don’t be possessive and clingy. They consider this obsessive or oppressive! It drives girls away. Don’t be possessive! You don’t own her and she doesn’t own you! You’re just dating. Give her enough space to come to you. Girls like their freedom. Surprise! The best way to catch a girl is to let her catch you! The best way to keep her is to gently keep your distance. She’ll like you even more!
61. Don’t Ever Strike A Girl. It’s never acceptable! If there’s any violence in a relationship, end it now! If you’re frustrated, quit going out with her. I’m serious as a heart attack!
62. Don’t be a completely different person when you’re with your friends and your girl approaches! Include her as your best friend. Never talk bad about her. 100% of all girls hate it when a guy gets around his pals, acts goofy, ignores her and makes jokes about her. (This is the #1 complaint I heard from girls.) You should be consistent and protective about your girl. If your buddies make fun of you – saying you’re whipped, just say “You’re just jealous! If you had a girl this terrific, you’d be falling all over yourself. Do this and you’ll gain 20 points!
63. When you want to break up, be a man. Have a very pleasant conversation in person with her telling her that she’s a great lady, but it really isn’t clicking for you. Of course she’ll hate you. But in the long term she will respect you! Attention: Do not break up with her by sending a text message or on YouTube. Hellooooo!
Young Men’s Dating Advice – Conclusion
You probably don’t understand now, but dating although fun is a tremendous learning experience and pretty serious. You might compare it with a huge obstacle course. I wrote this document to help you navigate and avoid most of the pitfalls.
The ultimate reward will be to team up with the perfect lady for you. This adventure will help you develop goals and learn to work as a team toward common interests. Together, you’ll become greater than the sum of your individual parts and abilities.
I hope you realize each girl has many applicants to become their life’s partner. Only one guy will make it through all the challenges by using a combination of kindness, integrity and common sense. If you continue to date your wife after you’re married, you’ll have something that playboys and cheaters can only dream of.
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