The Guidelines for Understanding Husbands
Recently, a wonderful, humble, married lady who had been married over 30 years told me; “I’ve just never understood my husband.” We’ve never resolved several issues. Then we laughed, because we knew there is an eternal divide between the sexes. Actually, it is more of a misunderstanding of how each other thinks!
Ladies say to their man, “You always say that.” He’ll reply, “when did I ever say it?” She’ll reply, “It was on our 14th date. I was wearing . . . and you said the same thing!” They guy complains, “but that was 22 years ago.” To which she’ll reply, “Yes, and you’re still saying it!”
This makes perfect sense if you are a lady. But if you’re a guy . . . well, reasoning like this leaves us speechless! Besides, we can’t understand why you go to the bathroom at a restaurant with 6 others, then complain, that the line was too long. (Isn’t it obvious? You took the line with you!) Are you having a party in there? Can you imagine us saying to our buddies, “Hey Fred, wanna go potty with me?” NO!
Observation of a pastor from Australia Helping Women’s Understanding Husbands
“Men are like a huge chest of drawers.” We encounter an issue. Deal with it. Stick it in a drawer, close it and forget about it. Then we open the next drawer to handle a new problem. (In other words we forget all about the first issue and move on to the next.)
Whereas – “Women are a ball of string!” What was done to them remains on that string – FOREVER!
A List of Disagreement Rules Men Can Agree Upon – Author Anonymous
In the “battle of the sexes,” we always to lose because you make the rules! So, before you try to change us again, here’s rules we think are fair.
A. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.
B. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry . . . we meant the OTHER one!
C. Men ARE NOT mind readers. We really don’t know why you’re mad.
D. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
E. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
F. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. As the Beatles said, “Let it be.”
G. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
H. Crying IS blackmail.
I. Just ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
J. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
K. Come to us with a problem ONLY If you want help solving it. That’s what we do. (Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.)
L. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
M. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
N. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. “Peach” for example, is a fruit, not a color. “Pumpkin” is also a fruit. We have no idea what a “mauve” is.
O. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
P. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to – Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Q. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine . . . Really!
R. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, huntin’, fishin’ or golfin’.
S. You have enough clothes.
T. You have too many shoes.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, we know, we’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know we really don’t mind? It’s like camping.
Final Understanding Husbands Thoughts
I’ve heard “Ladies get married thinking their husbands will change. Men get married thinking their wives won’t!”
Please understand: this article is tongue in cheek. However, I’ve never read this list to a husband who hasn’t laughed hard, because many of these have been common friction points marriages.